Life on Rural Street

I'm so sporadic with this blogging thing. Sorry.

I'm very tired this morning. Téah thought it would be fun to be awake from 1:30am to 3am. No actually, her mom had Indian Food for dinner and I think the spices didn't do a whole lot for Téah. I could hear her stomach rumbling and gurgling. One more food to mark off the list of allowed foods for the time being.

I had a mini-breakdown last night. Luckily John was a fantastic husband (as always) and basically listened to me whine for a bit. I find myself very frustrated with trying to balance work and mom-hood and wife-hood. I don't think I'm very good at it, actually. I'm trying though and it helps that I have a patient husband and that I only have to work part-time. I don't know how mom's who work full-time do it. I think I would have gone insane by now. When I'm at work I just want to be at home with my little girl. When I'm at home I start thinking about things at work I have to do and how much is going on there and if I'll ever make it through the next few weeks! I need to learn how to be fully "present" wherever I am currently. If that is at home, be present there with Téah and/or John. If that is at work - then be present there. This is all easier said than done though. I would also like to find a job that I enjoy a little more. I love the people I work with. That has nothing to do with it. I just get bored and feel like a very "little" person most of the time at work. One of my biggest whines to John last night was that I'm very jealous of the fact that he has always had a job he loves and is now completing his M.Div for this work. I'm very happy for him but I'm very jealous at the same time. It's a weird feeling. I'm working through that though and feeling better about it. Because my main "job" is to be a good wife and mother. And being a good wife means supporting John in his work and I really enjoy seeing him in his "work." He is so good! And being a mom is the best job ever. It really is. I just love spending time with my little girl!

Sorry for the blabbing this morning!