It has been a long time since I updated and for that, I apologize. But life gets in the way sometimes. I'm sure you understand. Add to that an "out-of-commission" laptop and well, you get it. (long story short: laptops and toddlers are not a great combination)

We have an agreement on our house. Meaning an offer has been put on it and we accepted it (after a bit of negotiation) and now we're working out the details of the inspection report, etc. Hopefully everything still goes through - there's a lot to work out that makes me nervous. To add a bit more stress to the situation, we still don't know where we're going to move. We've seen several houses, but are not excited about any of them. I realize I am behaving in a pretty spoiled manner - but I'm finding it hard to love any other house when I have been so spoiled by living in this big, beautiful house. Yes, it's a pain a lot of the times and yes, it's a ton of work. But it has character and a yard. Two things we're finding a lot of homes around here sorely lack. But we'll land somewhere!

The kids are great. Micah is a chatterbox and Téah is the chatterbox who taught the chatterbox. Meaning they both talk nonstop! They also fight a decent amount (sibling rivalry starts young). But they really do play together a lot and enjoy each others' company. Which I love seeing. Téah spent the night at her Grandma's house this past thursday night and Friday morning when Micah woke up the first thing he wanted to do was go find "Béah." He always wants to share everything with her too - it's pretty cute.

Summer has been a bit unusually cool, but still fun nonetheless. In June we all went to Virginia to stay in some cabins right off the Blue Ridge Parkway. They were the kind with beds, a kitchenette and then a common bathhouse for many different cabin-residents to share. My brother, Richard, and his wife, Priscilla and their lovely children, Gideon, Elliotte and Eden, joined us. We had such a nice time with them! The vacation itself was wonderful (and much needed!) and the time with family (who we simply don't see enough) was also wonderful. The kids all played together so well. John and I both agreed that vacation was more relaxing when they were all there with us because the kids all occupied each other and the adults could just hang out and talk.

August should prove to be busy. John will be in Mexico the 2nd - 9th. Téah's 4th (how did THAT happen?!) birthday is the 10th and as of now we'll have the closing on this house the 24th. And of course there's a lot of packing and house-hunting still to take place!

Oh and for the dog fans. The dogs are also great. Often times obnoxious, yes. But they really do add a lot of joy to our lives. Emma is as crazy as ever and Tiny is as goofy as ever. Even though they are a lot of work I will say I love having two dogs is fun. They actually really enjoy each others' company (yep, just like the kids!) and they successfully wear each other out, which is fabulous at the end of the day!

We're in a tough spot. Some of it is due to poor decisions on our part. Some of it is due to circumstances we could not have foreseen. Some of it is just bad luck. (Or lack thereof.)

Micah's lead level did not go down as far as we had hoped it would. It is currently under the "safe" level. But the more I research on my own and read studies about lead exposure the more I am convinced there really is no "safe" level. Somewhere, somehow he is still being exposed to lead in our house. Which also means Téah is being exposed to it. Of course, as parents, John and my immediate reaction is to say, "let's get our kids away from any possible exposure!"

However, it is a bit more complicated than that.

We are completely invested in this house. Heart, body, mind, soul. Completely invested. John (and many family members and friends) have spent hours putting their time, effort and love into this house. I honestly cannot even begin to list the things that have been done since we bought this house back in May of 2006. I know from the outsiders perspective this should not matter. Our childrens' health should be more important than any of that. And it is. Please believe me on this point. But it is hard to give up a dream and something you have put blood, sweat and tears into for almost 3 years.

There's also the financial side of the situation. We did not buy this house with the intent of selling it to make money. We didn't even buy it with the intent to make back what we put into it. We bought it with the intent to make it a home for our family and friends to enjoy and feel welcomed. However with selling comes the question, "Can we make the money back that we have put into it?" The answer is more than likely, "no." Not in today's market. Possibly not ever. So how can we possibly afford to move out, find a SAFE, lead-free house and try to sell this one. We can't figure out a way to make it work.

So now we're thinking about trying to rent it out. We'll see where that goes. And please know that we have no idea where this is going to lead. By reading this you have been subjected to my thinking out loud.

Please, please, please. If you own a home built before 1978 and you have young children or are currently pregnant, spend the money and have the lead-testing done. DO NOT mess around with lead. Just don't.

Living in a big old house with a particularly large yard within city limits is fun. I love having our garden, being outside with the kids, having a dog and room for her to run. I love the high ceilings and spaciousness of the rooms. I love the woodwork and charm of the house. What don't I love? lead.

When we first moved into this house in 2006 we knew lead could be an issue for Téah. Unfortunately we had no idea how big of an issue it would end up being. For reference: anything over a level of 10 is considered lead poisoning. However, the goal is to have a level of 0, of course. And more and more research is coming out showing that any level can have ill-effects both now and later on in adolescence and adulthood. Lovely, right?

Téah's level initially went up when we moved in back in May of 2006. So we decided to make one room "safe" for her since she was learning to crawl and generally be a lot more mobile. We opted for the family room. All 3 of us slept, ate, watched tv, hung out, etc. in that room. We had no working kitchen at the time and only minimal bathroom facilities for awhile. It was an interesting time! Téah did learn to crawl in this room - I kept it mopped and cleaned and regularly wet-dusted the rest of the room so it would be safe for her. I also made sure she was eating iron, calcium and vitamin C-rich foods to help with the amount of lead absorption in her body. So we went back for a follow-up lead check. Imagine our surprise when it went UP. A considerable amount! We were a bit flabbergasted and understandably very upset. No parent wants to be responsible for any ill-effects on their child now or later on in life. So we immediately moved out of the house, started bunking in John's parents' basement (they were extremely gracious and hospitable!) in hopes we could discover the sources of lead and be done with it. John found a professional lead inspector, paid a pretty penny and had a full day of lead testing done at the house. It was intense. We discovered it was all over the place - much more than we had anticipated. The worst part was the absolute highest level of lead in the house was on the floor of the family room. That's right, the floor Téah learned to crawl on. I honestly thought I might throw up when I heard that bit of news. So we had carpet installed, we sealed, primed, painted trim, painted the outside of the house... etc. It was A LOT of work and John did A LOT of it! When we were feeling ok about the state of things we moved back in the house. This was in January of 2007. About the time I found out I was pregnant with Micah.

We had Téah's lead tested a few times in there and it continually came down. Although never ALL the way down to zero which means she is still exposed to it regularly.

fast forward to this July:

Micah went in for his 9 month appt. and I, with his pediatrician's advice, opted to have his lead level tested now rather than wait for the normal 1 year checkup when most parents have this tested. Thank goodness we tested it early! Micah's initial reading came back at 19! Then with a full blood draw it came back at 15.8. Way too high. Obviously something was going on. John and I were pretty sure that it was from some work being done on the back porch that had stirred up more dust than normal. We also know that the front porch ceiling is an issue (working on that). We have since come to find out that the lead level in our water is pretty high. Filtered water only around these parts, thank you. Micah's level was tested this week and it has come down to 11. So it is on its way down - but honestly, not enough for me. I want both of my children to be completely lead free. And I don't know if that will ever happen living in this house.

I am struggling with enjoying my house now. I am tired of the constant worry. Tired of the constant dusting and mopping and washing of hands. I am tired of the endless projects that are never finished. I also know that this is a time period and hopefully one day I'll look back on it and everything will be fine. But it is a very frustrating time for us right now. I never wanted to sacrifice my children's health for a house. And although know ultimately this is not the case it is hard.

So it comes to this: I have a love/hate relationship with my house. And if Micah's level is not down a considerable amount more at his next check John and I have seriously talked about selling this house. And I can't even begin to tell you how much I DON'T want to do that.

The lesson to take away? Lead is nothing to mess with. If you are moving into an old house and have young children, pay the money (yes, it's expensive) and have a thorough lead inspection down. Our children are well worth the investment.